Today has not gone to plan… was supposed to use my enforced 1-3 break from hospital to enjoy my birthday lunch with The Girls at the Boathouse… instead… Daniel vomited 4am this morning. I called hospital. Dr on duty advised best for me to stay away until I know I don’t have what Dan has.

I am a basket case. Thank goodness for The Girls. When I have nothing left I can hand myself over to them to sort me out. Goal is to establish full breastfeeding  and get Rose well and strong enough to leave the hospital and come home.  Plan (with some consultation) is:

  1. Ask mum to stay again to give boys a good home base. [big ask but she said yes]
  2. Catch up with Andrew and get on the same page. [done and done.. ]
  3. Meet San at hospital so she can take Rose some clothes and wraps and check in on her for me and give her a cuddle. [Thank you so much, San!!]
  4. Speak to drs while I’m at hospital to see what best plan for Rose is re feeds and me. [They prescribed 24 hours away from Rose, symptom free and I can see her again tomorrow morning]
  5. San / Andrew to help me find a room near hospital to stay in so I can hopefully remain germ free and close to Rose for a fortnight. [done – thanks again, San and Andrew for helping me move in and Lou for taking the boys!!]
  6. Focus on staying well so I can be at hospital for Rose and BF. [in progress]
  7. Liz and Lou to fill in gaps with boys for mum and Andrew. [Thank you!!!]

My milk has deserted me. The last 92 days have caught up with me. I imagine this is what PTSD feels like (though probably shouldn’t trivialise PTSD or dramatise the situation! But I’m a bit beside myself). Suddenly counselling and possibly medication don’t sound like such a ridiculous idea.

Drs advised I should stay calm and healthy as Rose will be disadvantaged if I’m not so will try some meditation and a bit of work when I find my little hospital neighbourhood, germ free, bolt hole.

Fingers crossed poor old Daniel has a swift recovery.  Wish I could be there to give him lots of cuddles though I think his emotional needs are being met in my absence… and even in my presence… he called for Andrew last night when he was sick!

I’ll work on next post being a good news post..  Thanks, Lisa for the TummyTub.  All going to Plan I feel a first bath post coming on 🙂

About RoseEir

Premmie born @ 30 weeks with Cervical Teratoma
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4 Responses to Quarantine

  1. Fi says:

    Thank goodness for your ‘Girls’! (Your Mum included). Nothing beats treasured friends & family.
    Hope tomorrow brings a better day Xx

  2. San says:

    What a heart wrenching day my love – awful to see you so. Grateful to have been able to help. Being able to hold Rose for the first time will be something I shall never forget. Xx

  3. Ness says:

    Hey huni, I can’t even imagine the emotional rollercoaster you are on. I hope you know what an amazing job you are doing, you are certainly an inspiration to me. I wish so much I could be closer to help you. School holidays are on soon (and Jules gets three weeks), so pls pls let me know if I can help in any way, I can come down and look after boys for a few days, give your mum and friends a break? Let me know, I’d love to help. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  4. Kylie says:

    “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

    Jane & Rose, it’s a good thing that you have an entire army loving you on day’s like today…

    Maybe Jane you should make the most of such a crap day and your quarantine, follow dr’s orders and go out and celebrate that birthday of yours in style!

    Hoping Daniel is all better soon and that you’re back by Rose’s side tomorrow xxxx

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