Today has not gone to plan… was supposed to use my enforced 1-3 break from hospital to enjoy my birthday lunch with The Girls at the Boathouse… instead… Daniel vomited 4am this morning. I called hospital. Dr on duty advised best for me to stay away until I know I don’t have what Dan has.
I am a basket case. Thank goodness for The Girls. When I have nothing left I can hand myself over to them to sort me out. Goal is to establish full breastfeeding and get Rose well and strong enough to leave the hospital and come home. Plan (with some consultation) is:
- Ask mum to stay again to give boys a good home base. [big ask but she said yes]
- Catch up with Andrew and get on the same page. [done and done.. ]
- Meet San at hospital so she can take Rose some clothes and wraps and check in on her for me and give her a cuddle. [Thank you so much, San!!]
- Speak to drs while I’m at hospital to see what best plan for Rose is re feeds and me. [They prescribed 24 hours away from Rose, symptom free and I can see her again tomorrow morning]
- San / Andrew to help me find a room near hospital to stay in so I can hopefully remain germ free and close to Rose for a fortnight. [done – thanks again, San and Andrew for helping me move in and Lou for taking the boys!!]
- Focus on staying well so I can be at hospital for Rose and BF. [in progress]
- Liz and Lou to fill in gaps with boys for mum and Andrew. [Thank you!!!]
My milk has deserted me. The last 92 days have caught up with me. I imagine this is what PTSD feels like (though probably shouldn’t trivialise PTSD or dramatise the situation! But I’m a bit beside myself). Suddenly counselling and possibly medication don’t sound like such a ridiculous idea.
Drs advised I should stay calm and healthy as Rose will be disadvantaged if I’m not so will try some meditation and a bit of work when I find my little hospital neighbourhood, germ free, bolt hole.
Fingers crossed poor old Daniel has a swift recovery. Wish I could be there to give him lots of cuddles though I think his emotional needs are being met in my absence… and even in my presence… he called for Andrew last night when he was sick!
I’ll work on next post being a good news post.. Thanks, Lisa for the TummyTub. All going to Plan I feel a first bath post coming on 🙂