We gave Rose a middle name as I wanted to acknowledge the huge part medicine played in her life. She narrowly escaped Minerva!!
Today the nurse told me not to feed Rose and it truly felt like she was more Medicine’s child than mine. It certainly felt like that during the first month or so. It hurts to feel that again.
Rose has had quite a few things done to her over the past couple of days, replacing nasal gastric tubes and blood tests and she fights and screams and then passes out. She’s had this type of procedure all her life but the difference is probably that now I’m here all the time they can’t really wait for when I’m not here to do it. I’m feeling so angry and frustrated and guilty and silly for feeling it but too tired to try to understand why exactly.