It’s probably not, given she’s asleep, however most nurses lately have assured me she is smiling. I was almost convinced yesterday when she gazed right into my eyes and gave me a huge even smile…
Lovely day of visitors and breastfeeding yesterday. San dropped in with Fergus and food and Liz brought me dinner and Rose the divine upcycled quilt in the photo. Very special and heirloomie.
A lady on level 2 is here for a short while with newborn twins to establish feeding etc. I think it’s about day 2. I was watching her last night gazing at them like all her Christmases had come at once and realised I’ve finally let go of a lot of my anxiety and experienced that feeling with Rose too. It’s a bit more tempered by awareness of the potential NICU level yo-yo-ing in our future or if we are lucky enough to come home, the fear of what winter germs will hit our family nottomention the worry over what lies in the future for her long term but writing all that I’ve decided just to enjoy the joy of a new baby, to live in the moment for the good as well as the challenging. Otherwise I’ll be doing us both a huge disservice.
Self counselling session over. Thanks for bearing witness.
Everything else going well. We are up to 3 pretty good breastfeeds a day. Today we may do her first bath and she will be weighed. She will also have her hearing test. Only issue I’m aware of at the moment is that I neglected to follow up on her trans-pyloric tube being shortened to a gastric tube. Last X-ray showed it sitting in the stomach but it appears to have moved down and the instruction for it to be shortened last Friday to avoid this being possible was not written up during rounds. So her reflux may be worse than it currently appears. We will have to wait and see. They will replace the tube tomorrow.